Lessons Learned

I love my students. It has become clearer to me in these last few days as I realized that my time remaining in their classroom is getting short, and I am a little afraid of how much I am going to miss them when I have to leave. They draw out of me (on a daily basis) every human emotion on the spectrum, and while teaching is exhausting, nerve-wracking, challenging, exasperating, etc. it also the most fulfilling thing that I have been able to do in my life so far.

One of the things that I learned this week is when to just shut up. I don’t know what it is about being a new teacher, but for some reason I was under the impression that as a good teacher I should be talking most of the time. I should be giving directions, following up, correcting behavior, calling for order, and so on. I should think aloud, read aloud, and write aloud. At one point during the week, however, the words of a very wise friend and leader came to mind: “He who talks the most learns the most.” If I want my students to learn (especially at a deeper level) I have to let them do the talking! So the next day I tried it. I was running out of things to say anyway, so during the reading aloud when the students were getting difficult to keep quiet, I just shut my mouth. I listened to their comments and conversations (most of which were about the book) and when they were done a minute or so later they quietly and calmly looked up at me to continue reading. I was so surprised and pleased! I realized that I hadn’t trusted them enough to talk before, but by denying them that exercise I was limiting their experience with whatever it was I was trying to teach. It may require more time to be invested, but I have a feeling that the returns will be well worth it. And let’s be honest, I get really tired of hearing my own voice by the end of the week.

Something else that I learned this week had to do with class discipline. I expressed to my mentor teacher my frustration with knowing how to discipline the students when some don’t seem to care about the consequences that we have set up in our class management system. I explained that while I don’t exactly want to “threaten” my students, I don’t feel like I even have anything to threaten them with at those times when their behavior gets out of control. I am not a big fan of taking away recess, since I think they need the exercise and I know that I definitely need the break. I am not sure, either, that sending students to the office does a whole lot more than get them out of the classroom for a few minutes. Detention usually seems pointless, and sending them to another classroom to be in timeout is distracting to the other classes and teachers. What, then, could I do? My mentor teacher explained that there would always be times that the students just don’t want to respond, but the loss of the teacher’s favor has to be the greatest consequence. I have to create relationships with them that are positive enough that they would be sorry to damage that confidence. I am trying to put more of this into practice and already I am seeing great results. It’s effects aren’t as immediate as the threats that I could hand out, but they are much more lasting and they help the students develop into the kind of caring people and citizens that I want them to be.

Last thing learned (again): It is hard to love so much. I realize that these students will move on and most of them I will probably never see again. It is such a short period of time in which I can have any sort of impact on their lives, and then I just have to think about them and pray for them. On Friday morning one of my students (C.) came into the classroom crying, and her silent sobs made it impossible for her to even tell me what was wrong. My mentor teacher wasn’t in the room, but one of C.’s friends came up to tell me that she was crying because her mom had just been taken to prison. What could I do for this poor little child?? I hugged her and had to tried hard to not cry myself as I assured her that everything would be okay. I asked her if there was someone to take care of her and her sister and she said that they would be staying with their grandmother. I can’t imagine having your life change so drastically at 9 years old, and in that moment it hurt my heart that there was so little I could do for her. Goodness knows I would have invited her to come live with me in an instant, but I don’t know how well that would have gone with the administration and I don’t think that is what she needs, either. I just have to pray that somehow things will be okay and that she will grow up feeling loved.

I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed. I essentially have just three more weeks of teaching before I will be done, graduated, and gone. It is still tough and tiring, but I am determined to give it my best effort while I am here. I couldn’t do any less for these kids!