Sometimes I have to remember that life is for learning things. With my current occupation you would think this would be a hard truth to forget, but I do. Or I want to pick and choose the kind of education that comes to me, without considering what the Teacher wants me to learn. I am still not a very good student, but these last few weeks have taught me to be more humble and trusting.
After moving to Tucson (and probably as an indirect result of it, along with other strenuous activities) I developed a back/shoulder problem that started off as a mild irritation in week one and turned into a nearly unbearable pain by week three. Teaching required constant doses of ibuprofen (which I abhor, having always hoped to keep my kidneys and liver in a fit state to donate) and my hope of successfully finishing out this school year turned into a plea to be able to get through a day. Every day after getting home all I could do was lay on my back until the exhaustion overcame the pain and I slept for a few hours at a time. I don't know if I have ever been more discouraged in my life. I didn't feel like I could be a good teacher when I was so constantly distracted by pain, and I couldn't find any stress relief in sports or exercise, which are a HUGE part of my life.
Finally on Sunday I made a trip to urgent care and the doctor there shed some light on the problem. Apparently it is a herniated disc that is pinching the C8 nerve in my lower neck and causing pain through my back and left arm. It is made worse by things like running, volleyball, and pretty much every other sport that I have played. Moving large and bulky items (for my apartment and my classroom) on top of that finally pushed it over the edge, and the doctor said that from here on out I will likely have "episodes" where it will flare up (usually 6 weeks to 2 months) interspersed with pain-free times, depending on my activities. He prescribed some stronger medication for pain, and told me to take ibuprofen constantly (???) to keep the swelling down.
I'll be honest, I didn't handle the news very valiantly. "So my options," I thought, "are A) to live a sedentary life and eventually die from boredom B) ignore the advice, keep playing sports and die even earlier from kidney failure or C) see how long I can go without meds before the pain makes everything impossible."
(Note: Trust me, I know that I was being overly dramatic and a whiner. There are SO many people in this world who deal with a lot more pain on a regular basis, and they still go about with their busy and productive lives. In fact, they are usually the most productive people I know. I have been blessed to have always had pretty good health and few injuries, so I am still learning how to work with pain, however slight it may be.)
There have been a lot of times in the last few days when I have asked Heavenly Father "Why?" Why did He want me to move to Tucson - I really had felt good about it - when it would indirectly lead to this problem? Why couldn't the problem have shown up before I moved, when I probably would have looked for a less physical job? Why did I have to be so far away from all my family and loved ones at the time when I wanted them most?
Today when I was teaching an answer came to me in this way. I was trying to teach a phonics lesson, but one of the students kept raising his hand to ask me what we were doing and never seemed to listen when I gave instructions or explanations. He just kept on asking questions! Finally I called his name and said "If you keep on asking questions, you'll never learn the lesson." I'm not sure if he really understood that - he is, after all, only 6 - but it's application for me was obvious and I thought about it for the rest of the day.
"Be still, and know that I am God." (Doctrine and Covenants 101:16) This is the lesson that I am learning, and I really am trying to shut my mouth and open my heart and mind. :) Not an easy task for me, but I will improve.
I am sure that everything will work out, and again, I feel like I always end up on the easy side of trials. So many people deal with so much more, not just in the way of physical hardships, but also emotional and spiritual. I am grateful to share your ranks in some small way, and my prayers go out to those who are suffering anywhere.
P.S. My school really is great, and I have wonderful students. Despite its location, the whole school seems to be very normal and safe. Hooray! :)
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
The Inner-City Life For Me!
Three weeks ago today I sat at my computer at my home in Beaverton, Oregon and applied for teaching jobs. I applied for a few in Wyoming, a few in Virginia/DC, and a few in Arizona. Two days later I got a call from a school in Arizona to set up an interview via Skype. Two interviews later they offered me a position. Two days later I accepted, and became the newest first grade teacher at the Math and Science Success Academy in Tucson, Arizona.
Because teacher training started on July 30, I had to move to Tucson right away. I always thought I liked Arizona, and although I had never been to Tucson I imagined that orange and grapefruit trees were to Tucson what blackberries are to the northwest. I can live anywhere as long as the supply of fresh produce (hereafter referred to solely as "fresh") is ample and cheap, and since I am not a picky eater - see, Alma, it runs in the family ;) - it doesn't really matter what kind of fresh. I packed up all of my belongings, fit most of them into my little Toyota, and on July 24 I started my journey by driving alone to Provo. From there I picked up Annie, and on the 25th he two of us drove down to Mesa, and then on to Tucson, arriving the afternoon of July 26th.
There were a whole lot of blessings and miracles of varying sizes during that week, as there have been since. The first miracle was that my car survived the journey. 4 quarts of oil and a whole lot of prayers helped to get it there, and I thank all of those who contributed in that effort. We pulled into the charter school in downtown Tucson and walked in, sweaty and tired, to introduce ourselves. "What school are you teaching at?" the front desk lady inquired. "Math and Science Success Academy." I answered. "Oh honey, you're in the OTHER school. On the SOUTH side of town." The way she said it left little doubt that "the south side" was in all ways a less desirable location, but I didn't want to appear too concerned, so I just got he address from her and figured I would go see it on my own. First, however, I had to get fingerprinted at the sheriff's office (a requirement when teaching school), so Annie and I headed there, filled out paperwork, and sat in a waiting line an hour long. My turn finally came around, and the deputies and staff at work talked to me as I was fingerprinted. "So, you're new in town?" "Yep, I arrived all of 2 hours ago." When they heard what brought me to Tucson and where I would be teaching, all three staff members and one deputy had to give me all of their cautions and advice. It went something like this:
Worker 1: "You say you're working on the south side?"
Me: "Yes, and I keep getting the feeling that it is a sketchy place..."
Worker 2: "Yeah, you might say that. A lot of gangs around here, and Tucson is the number one city for drug imports in the nation. 40% of all illegal drugs come through Tucson."
Me: "Well this is all sorts of comforting..."
Deputy: "Do you have a gun?"
Me: "What?!?"
Deputy: "You'll want to get one."
Worker 1: "Nah, everybody else has got one. She'll be alright, as long as she lives on the east side, or north."
Worker 2: "What about west? I live on the west side, and I think it is pretty safe."
Deputy: "Oh no it's not. You stick to the north, or east, but not too far east or they'll steal your car. Do you drive a Honda?"
Me: "No, I have a Toyota..."
Deputy: "They'll steal that one, too. No, you come back here with me and I'll show you some good places to live."
I went around to the cubicles with the deputy and she pulled out a map and showed me a few areas to look for apartments. She even asked I I had a place to stay for the night, and when I said no she said, "Aww man, I'd offer you to come stay at my place, but you might be a serial killer and then I'd be in trouble."
Welcome to Tucson! Annie and I drove east for miles, and finally things began to feel more...normal? Anyhow, the first apartments we stopped to look at were discouraging, and I have to admit that I was a little weirded out by the apartment manager in his late 50's with a 6-inch combover and a lazy eye. So much for normal. But the second place we looked was beautiful! Clean, newer apartments with a view of the mountains, a pool, a fitness center, and a manager who reminded me of one of my best friends from home. It was only slightly more expensive than the first place, and let's be honest, I would pay an extra $50 per month just to avoid nightmares about the combover man. Miracle #2: I was able to move in right away!
Annie and I celebrated by eating out at a sushi restaurant, and were surprised to find that Tucson has pretty good sushi. On top of that, a random man struck up a conversation with us at the sushi bar and ended up buying us deep-fried ice cream. (He wasn't 100% sober, but I didn't feel creeped out by him, and besides, Annie and I he wanted ice cream that day anyway... We ended up giving him fake names, just to be safe.) The people in Tucson sure are friendly!
Things have only gotten crazier since those first few days, but now it is mostly teacher training, classroom prep, and a little exercise and fresh to keep me sane. There are more cacti than grapefruit trees, but thankfully Costco still carries pineapples for $3.49 each. :)
Because teacher training started on July 30, I had to move to Tucson right away. I always thought I liked Arizona, and although I had never been to Tucson I imagined that orange and grapefruit trees were to Tucson what blackberries are to the northwest. I can live anywhere as long as the supply of fresh produce (hereafter referred to solely as "fresh") is ample and cheap, and since I am not a picky eater - see, Alma, it runs in the family ;) - it doesn't really matter what kind of fresh. I packed up all of my belongings, fit most of them into my little Toyota, and on July 24 I started my journey by driving alone to Provo. From there I picked up Annie, and on the 25th he two of us drove down to Mesa, and then on to Tucson, arriving the afternoon of July 26th.
There were a whole lot of blessings and miracles of varying sizes during that week, as there have been since. The first miracle was that my car survived the journey. 4 quarts of oil and a whole lot of prayers helped to get it there, and I thank all of those who contributed in that effort. We pulled into the charter school in downtown Tucson and walked in, sweaty and tired, to introduce ourselves. "What school are you teaching at?" the front desk lady inquired. "Math and Science Success Academy." I answered. "Oh honey, you're in the OTHER school. On the SOUTH side of town." The way she said it left little doubt that "the south side" was in all ways a less desirable location, but I didn't want to appear too concerned, so I just got he address from her and figured I would go see it on my own. First, however, I had to get fingerprinted at the sheriff's office (a requirement when teaching school), so Annie and I headed there, filled out paperwork, and sat in a waiting line an hour long. My turn finally came around, and the deputies and staff at work talked to me as I was fingerprinted. "So, you're new in town?" "Yep, I arrived all of 2 hours ago." When they heard what brought me to Tucson and where I would be teaching, all three staff members and one deputy had to give me all of their cautions and advice. It went something like this:
Worker 1: "You say you're working on the south side?"
Me: "Yes, and I keep getting the feeling that it is a sketchy place..."
Worker 2: "Yeah, you might say that. A lot of gangs around here, and Tucson is the number one city for drug imports in the nation. 40% of all illegal drugs come through Tucson."
Me: "Well this is all sorts of comforting..."
Deputy: "Do you have a gun?"
Me: "What?!?"
Deputy: "You'll want to get one."
Worker 1: "Nah, everybody else has got one. She'll be alright, as long as she lives on the east side, or north."
Worker 2: "What about west? I live on the west side, and I think it is pretty safe."
Deputy: "Oh no it's not. You stick to the north, or east, but not too far east or they'll steal your car. Do you drive a Honda?"
Me: "No, I have a Toyota..."
Deputy: "They'll steal that one, too. No, you come back here with me and I'll show you some good places to live."
I went around to the cubicles with the deputy and she pulled out a map and showed me a few areas to look for apartments. She even asked I I had a place to stay for the night, and when I said no she said, "Aww man, I'd offer you to come stay at my place, but you might be a serial killer and then I'd be in trouble."
Welcome to Tucson! Annie and I drove east for miles, and finally things began to feel more...normal? Anyhow, the first apartments we stopped to look at were discouraging, and I have to admit that I was a little weirded out by the apartment manager in his late 50's with a 6-inch combover and a lazy eye. So much for normal. But the second place we looked was beautiful! Clean, newer apartments with a view of the mountains, a pool, a fitness center, and a manager who reminded me of one of my best friends from home. It was only slightly more expensive than the first place, and let's be honest, I would pay an extra $50 per month just to avoid nightmares about the combover man. Miracle #2: I was able to move in right away!
Annie and I celebrated by eating out at a sushi restaurant, and were surprised to find that Tucson has pretty good sushi. On top of that, a random man struck up a conversation with us at the sushi bar and ended up buying us deep-fried ice cream. (He wasn't 100% sober, but I didn't feel creeped out by him, and besides, Annie and I he wanted ice cream that day anyway... We ended up giving him fake names, just to be safe.) The people in Tucson sure are friendly!
Things have only gotten crazier since those first few days, but now it is mostly teacher training, classroom prep, and a little exercise and fresh to keep me sane. There are more cacti than grapefruit trees, but thankfully Costco still carries pineapples for $3.49 each. :)
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